INSANITY!!!

This is a really long blog post, but I need to get it out there.

I have gained a lot of weight in the last two years. I can try to blame it on any number of things—fertility drugs, hormones, anti-depressants, long hours at work, stress, loneliness—but those are all just excuses. They are all just things that normal people deal with every day. I’m not special and my life isn’t extra difficult. The truth is I am lazy and I eat a really crappy diet. I never exercise. I eat tons of candy and ice cream and fast food. I sleep a lot. I watch far too much television. I am a fat, lazy slob. In the last two years, I have gained almost 15 lbs and I have gone from a size 6 to a size 10. Two years ago, I ate a balanced diet and I exercised a lot, either on the cardio circuit at the gym, going for long and fast walks (2-4 miles), or in my living room using Wii Fit. Looking back, I can pinpoint precise moments when my habits went to hell. I want to have to change that! 

I have been meaning to start “P90X,” but someone gave me their copy of “Insanity” instead. Free is good. I knew people who did P90X a few years ago when it first came out and they talked about how hard it was, but that the results were faster than any other exercise programs they had tried. I have also been following someone on Youtube for a good 4 years who lost like 60lbs by living a healthier lifestyle, including Insanity. So… why not go for it?

I considered waiting until Sunday to start because it is very regimented and it would be easiest to keep track if my weeks started on Sundays. Then I got to thinking, It’s a snow day. I’m sitting here, bored out of my mind. If I don’t start now, will I still be motivated come Sunday? After a day of pretty rigorous exercise outside—shoveling my car out of 15” of snow and walking a mile (in 15” of snow) to the store—and eating my Valentine’s candy, I decided to start tonight. I really should have waited for Sunday. Oh well.

Y’all… I have known I was out of shape, but I was absolutely shocked by how bad it was! I started with the Fitness Test—a 25 minute video containing eight 1 minute exercises plus warm up and cool down. My form was terrible because I had never most of these exercises before (although others are similar to Tae-bo). By the end of the 2^nd exercise, I was winded. By the end of the 3^rd exercise, I was on the verge of vomiting. During the 4^th exercise, I was shaking. During the 6^th exercise, I was absolutely dying—nausea, headache, shortness of breath, shaking. At the end of the 8^th exercise, I literally crawled to the bathroom, sure I would throw up. But I finished the video. I am so sad that finishing the video feels like an accomplishment. And it wasn't even one of the fitness videos; it was just the "how flabby are you?" test.

The woman exercising in the video, Tanya, is obnoxiously beautiful and lean and is smiling while doing these same exercises that I thought would kill me. While I’m shaking doing 2 reps of a certain exercise, she pips in her perky voice, “I did 93!” I want to be as obnoxious as Tanya! For now though, here’s where I am starting. The nutrition part will have to wait until the next time I go grocery shopping (mid-week next week).

Day 1: Fitness Test

Height: 5’5”

Starting weight: 144

Swish Kicks	30	But they’re low.
Lumber Jacks (I think)	21	Good form, but I’m winded & burning!
Power Knees	21 per side, so 42 total	Feeling like I’m going to vomit!
Power Jumps	2 (yes, two.)	Still shaking from Power Knees.
Globe Jumps	7	Bad form.
Suicide Jumps	2	DYING! Shaking, might vomit L
Push-up Jacks	15	Holy cow! What is this? My butt is too high and my legs are wobbly.
Low Plank Obliques	30	I.am.crawling. My chest burns. I can’t move.

You have to follow the exercise and diet regiment and then take the fitness test every 2 weeks. Hopefully, I won’t suck as much next time. I think this fitness plan is far too extreme for someone who is as active as a marshmallow. But I’m going to go for it anyway! I want to be healthy again & I want to fit into my smaller jeans again. 

Let me know if you are interested in starting this and we can do it together! =)