Take Out? We'll Eat It In.

There was an incident at work today involving one of my design assistants, who absolutely flipped out on me. I ended up staying late at work to go over the disciplinary paperwork with my boss.

When I got home, Aaron and I went to a Chinese restaurant. He had hoped it would be like Osakas back in Lynchburg. We didn't realize until we got there that it was take-out only. Bummer. We went in and ordered and ended up just eating in the waiting area. The employees must have thought we were crazy! :) As we were leaving, Aaron told them that we enjoyed it. I figure being a takeout place, they probably never hear how good the food was.

My fortune cookie said, "You will have much happiness in your love life." (In bed!) I hope so! ^.^

I love these moments of eating cheap Chinese food and having deep conversations with Aaron. We had a few "it" places in Lynchburg where we liked to relax and talk. Yogurt Yeti, LU, Osakas, Target, downtown. The adjustment up here has been difficult, but we realize now that we have to modify our set-in-stone lifestyle to accommodate for Baltimore life. I'm optimistic that we'll find a fun routine up here.

Do you have any of these fun routines with your spouse?

Praying for our Kids

As everyone knows, Aaron and I cannot have kids of our own. We would love to. We tried for years. We saw fertility specialists. I had surgery. I used medicines that made me sick, fat, and moody. Nothing worked. When we moved to Maryland this summer, jobless, I admit we were both relieved that kids were not in the picture. Only briefly though.

I find that whenever I try to fill my life with other things-- work, vacations, hobbies, etc.-- I still feel empty. I know they're just placeholders. They might keep my thoughts occupied for the moment, but they'll never quench my desire to have a family.

This whole experience with infertility has been so up and down. I've changed as a person (sometimes in good ways, sometimes in hard ways) because of it. My priorities have changed. My views have changed. Five years ago, I was endlessly frustrated because I wanted a family and Aaron didn't. Four years ago, I was relieved that Aaron was finally excited to try, but I was so confused about why it wasn't happening. Then, I had the most confusing early miscarriage situation. Three years ago, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. In some ways, the diagnosis was a relief because at least I knew that there was a medical answer. Unfortunately, that disease has no cure and only gets worse. Two years ago, my heart was truly, absolutely aching. The pain felt unbearable. I wanted to so much to have a child, but as I wasn't getting pregnant, it seemed like all of my friends were. And I do mean all. The struggle seemed endless. Last year, Aaron and I had renewed hope as we sought answers and healing from fertility doctors. I can't even recall the number of times I drove to Charlottesville for blood tests, ultrasounds, consultations, and various procedures. I remember sitting in a doctor's office, being told that if that cycle didn't work, I would never get pregnant apart from IVF. Aaron wasn't even there with me that day, so receiving the news sucked.. And now, I'm just so over the whole trying-to-get-pregnant thing. It's never going to happen. I accept that.

A few years ago, one of my friends adopted and asked me if we had considered it. At the time, it didn't seem like the right move for us. And since I didn't want it for the right reasons, I would have been just another bitter infertile woman buying a baby. Like I said though, this has been a hilly road and we've grown so much.

Aaron and I have decided that once he's finished training and hired by the FAA (or wherever he is career-wise after school), we would like to adopt. That gives us roughly a year and a half to two years to get our finances back in line, for Aaron to get settled in to his job, for us to create a new home together. It's so exciting. There are so many kids in the world with no parents (or miserable parents). I can't wait to meet ours! I'm already wondering will it be a boy or a girl? what will he look like? what will his personality be like? what will it be like to tuck our child in every night? Bathtime, bedtime, hugs, kisses, playing, loving, teaching, growing...

It seems like so far away (especially when we've waited this long)! I can't meet him yet, but I can pray for him. So, that's what we're going to do. Every day. Maybe he isn't even born yet and we need to pray for his mom to keep him safe. Maybe he's being hurt or neglected by someone right now and we need to pray for God to protect him and restore his innocence. Maybe he's wondering when someone will finally love him and want him. I hate when people throw around the phrase, "All you can do is pray." Prayer isn't all I can do. That makes it sound like a pathetic attempt to grasp the last strand of control in a big situation. My God is bigger and more powerful than any other force in this world! I haven't met my child yet, but you'd better believe I'll be praying for him!

Will you pray for him too? Pray for Aaron and me while you're at it. We're not ready yet. Believe me when I say it would be irresponsible to apply for adoption right now. Aaron's in school, we're in a one-bedroom apartment, and I work 40 min away. But pray for us to make headway in the next year and to become really prepared to be parents. We both want this more than anything.

Day Trip to DC

Aaron and I went to DC on Friday. I had off and it was his last weekend off before starting his new job tomorrow (!!!). The trip started with a really crappy metro stop and ended with his debit card being cancelled because Wells Fargo "detected fraud" on it. The actual trip was fun though! ;)

Here are some pictures:

Starting off the day at the National Mall.

America.

The Capitol Building. We've been in there before, but this time they were going to make us throw away all of our snacks and juice boxes, so we didn't go in.

Cool sculpture at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.

Cupcake from Hello Cupcake at Dupont circle in DC. It was so-so. I've had better. (Sassafrost- formerly Taste Selects- in Lynchburg). This $3.25 purchase was considered "fraudulent" by Wells Fargo. LoL. By the way, Aaron's card still isn't working.

This is a new furniture exibit at the National Gallery of Art. It didn't open until two days after we left.

A Renaissance chalice. Check out the jewels and detailing.

So, yeah, typical tourist stuff. Fun day off. Way to burn those calories. 

Thanks for reading! 

"The House at the End of the Street"

Today, my mom and I watched The House at the End of the Street. The weather was quite perfect for a scary movie: cold, rainy, dark. Oooooo spooky!

I'm not one for demonic, creepy movies. I never watched any of the Paranormal Activity movies. I'm not into exorcism type movies. I'm not into movies about creepy children or dolls. I do like good murder/suspense/thrill movies though. Overall, I enjoyed this movie. Without spoiling it for you, here is what I though of it:

-The characters were well played. I love that they didn't have any slutty teenage girls running around half naked (seriously, why is that in so many movies?). All of the actors were really convincing.

-The plot was deep and layered. It wasn't a predictable movie. Actually, I was really surprised with how things turned out.

-It was thought-provoking. My mom and I called each other probably 4 times on our ways home as we realized more and more about the movie.

Ok, now my lips are sealed! I don't want to give anything away. The previews were great to build interest but not give away the plot. If you're into scary movies that are not satanic and won't give you nightmares, check it out!

What's Up?

It has been quite a while since my last post. Let's see....


I started working as a full-time interior designer at a furniture store. It is retail... so I have crappy hours and work every holiday. And it's like 45 minutes away, so I feel like I'm always there. But, I can't really complain. It is a job in my field and I think it will be a good stepping stone opportunity. I'm just praising God for providing. Guys, that's what I love so much about everything that has happened! Let me share:

On July 31st, I lost my job. Initially, Aaron was planning to stay with my mom during his time in ATC school and I was planning to stay at my job in Lynchburg. Then things happened and we were able to move to Maryland together. Bolster position for my career-- there is nothing and I mean NOTHING available in interior design back in Lynchburg. A few months before all of this happened, Aaron started doing our finances differently and was actually able to build up our saving's account. Between savings and my unemployment, we were able to make it through August & September on our own, without having to ask parents for money. Aaron had told me that he wasn't sure what we would do in October, but that we were fine for the time being. Then, in mid-September, I was offered a full-time job (in my field!!!!). Then, on the date of my first paycheck, Aaron was offered a job, too! So, God just continues to provide for us. I know it's God's doing, because look at all the people who are unemployed for 6+ months, trying to make it on their own, and my unemployment only lasted 6 weeks.

I've been training in Annapolis, which is an hour drive each way 5 days a week. It's weird because everyone in Maryland commutes. People from PA work in MD. People from Baltimore work in DC. I met two men who live near me and both work in Philadelphia-- two hours away. And generally, no one thinks anything of it. Driving 300 miles a week was making me nervous about the condition of my car. It was a 2000 with 149,000 miles and a lot of problems that just started over the summer (needed new struts, a new alternator, transmission was leaking and not shifting smoothly, etc.). I was finally able to get a new car. It's a 2010 Mazda3. That's just a pic I found online b/c it's raining and I can't take a pic right now. But it's a great little car! I'm thankful to have something reliable.

I'll post again probably tomorrow or over the weekend. There is a lot more going on, but this post is getting long and I need to get ready for work. Toodles!